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Death & Shoes.

When you partner is diagnosed with Cancer.

 

Any of us who have been down that dark cancer road, know just how important it is to have at least one person to travel it with you.  These heroes’s usually get sentenced along with you because they are your spouse, your parent, your child or sibling.  They are not sick but by association live the cancer nightmare with you, almost as if they too were diagnosed.

Some call them carers but I prefer to call them co-survivors.

 

These are the people who bare the brunt of duty when it comes to care, support and championing your rights when you cannot do it for yourself.

My hero was my husband, without whom my journey would have been very lonely and possibly would have had a different ending. Of all the things that he did for me, I would have to say that his strength in letting me say what I needed to, was the most precious gift of all.

He allowed me to discuss the “what if’s?”  You know the ones that are racing around your head but are sometimes too scary for love ones to hear, so you keep them there, under lock and key.  Not for me…… because my man, let me talk.

We talked of what he would do if I died; would he stay in the house or move?  Would he hope to remarry or even stay in Canada? We planned my funeral (I am going to the moon by the way); we discussed the insurance and wrote a living will.

Plus really important stuff like…………, who would get my shoes? 🙂

 

In allowing me to do this, to unburden all that swirling myriad of issues racing around in my head, he gave me the peace I needed to take on my cancer and WIN!  He allowed me to direct all my energy into surviving…………which is why I call him “my co-survivor”.

[important]So my one piece of advice to carer’s would be…………….to be strong and have those conversations. It is a very special and priceless gift to truly be heard and immensely empowering for both parties.[/important]

It has been over 11 years now since that awful day and my shoes are still in my closet.

 

Coach Lin

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