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If I Could Turn Back Time?

I was asked today if I could turn back time and change anything in my life, what would it be?

Talk about a loaded question!

You would think that things would jump to mind easily, enough crap has happened to me; you would think the first words out of my mouth would be, to not have had cancer……..you would think.

Truth is, I could not say that!

I’m not going to pretend I’m some sort of hero or get all holier than thou, but the words simply did not pop out.

Of course I would rather not have had to puke my guts up or loose my physical health and mobility. I would have rather not had my teeth and hair fall out or my insides so screwed up they still feel like the are tangled around my spine.. Even though, this question was asked on a day when I am in pain and every move (even this typing) is hurting; even though, I sometimes feel old and fragile and as if years have been stolen from me.

I could not say this.

I do think, I would like to be just now hitting menopause, instead of an 11 year veteran of hot flushes and memory blanks; I do think, I would love to ski again or swim or cycle, hell I would actually settle for walking any distance without pain.

But the words did not come.

It’s so easy to sit back and wish something had not happened but nothing is isolated. There are people in my life now, whom I would not have known. I can’t imagine just clicking them out of my existence. I know things now, I would probably never had bothered with, had I not had cancer. Could I just wipe that out?

I don’t think so.

Plus, I found not just a new career but also a voice. Would I silence that again?

Not likely.

All the shit has brought me to a place in my life where I know who I am and what I feel and think. These experiences have given me the fire to find knowledge, ammunition to right what is wrong, passion to shout on behalf of the mistreated, the abused, the sick.

To say Enough is Enough!

We want the truth! We want the pointless experiments to stop! We want a real cure and we want it now!

So is there anything I would go back and change?

Yes!

I would change the thought process of the first person who believed, it was better to make money than cures!

Got something to say? Then type away!

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